Treasures and Time off

I hope everyone had a pleasant Thanksgiving. We enjoyed both a nice overnight stay with our families and some time away from the kids who stayed with my parents an extra couple of nights after we left. As much as we love the kiddos, it is always nice to have a break. We are lucky to get that opportunity with some regularity. I head down to pick them up this afternoon and on the way home we are going to listen to more of Madeleine L’Engle read her novel, A Wrinkle in Time. It is my all-time favorite book and R’s first time hearing it. I’m tickled she wants to hear more (we only listened to part of it on the way down) and I really love to hear the late, great Ms. L’Engle read her own words. I enjoy hearing the author’s interpretation of what they wrote—I like to know how they heard what they wrote as they wrote it. Plus, for me, I just feel such a connection to her, that it’s a treat to her her voice.

I digress. We had a lovely time at Auntie L and Uncle D’s for Thanksgiving dinner. We hung out with Grammie and Auntie S & Uncle Fungus and got to see how much little E has grown since he stayed with us this summer. The four bigger cousins: R, C, A, and Monkey all ran around together like good cousins do, with very little tattling, fighting, or arguing which is always a bonus. Earlier in the day I had brought over the furry kids, CaseyJones and Zoe, to play with their cousin Ayla. We wanted to wear them out so they would sleep while we ate copious amounts of meat. It worked like a charm. They ran around playing fetch and they wrestled and Zoe and Ayla cut each other off from water and people, trying to prove who had the better position in their temporary pack. I was amused to watch Zoe cutting off Ayla from Casey who apparently is only allowed to be tormented by Zoe. Ayla, a beautiful German Shepherd, is the youngest, but as big as Casey who is an adult male Lab, with Zoe, coming in a close third size-wise. But my girl is tough and liked to remind Ayla that she was the elder of the two. There wasn’t any real fighting, but a fair amount of teeth showing and warning growls. Luckily, all of them are smart and good listeners so nothing ever went too far. All in all they were great dogs and they were definitely tuckered out.

After dinner, R and I went over to visit with my side of the family for dessert (not that I could eat anything, I was so full). We got to visit with some of my cousins who live even farther away than I do, which was fantastic. I’m pretty close to my cousins and always miss them even if I’m lousy at letting them know. The next generation of cousins all ran around screeching and giggling and singing like a band of pixies on crack…or frosted cupcakes as the case may be. In any event, it was good to see my family even if it was for a short time. We’ll see them again around Christmas when we head down one more time before K leaves the country.

Before we came home to enjoy the quiet, we stopped over at my grandfather’s house so K could visit with him too since he didn’t get to the night before (not that we could have heard a conversation over the screaming mimi’s). I loved to hear his stories especially the one when he was a young boy hitching a ride on the bread guy’s horse-drawn cart. Stories he told of my great-grandmother’s brushes with death always amaze me : on her way over from Greece on a freighter carrying marble, the cargo broke loose during a storm and ripped a hole in the ship, forcing the passengers into lifeboats for 2 days; and a few years later, when my grandfather was very small, their landlord set the house on fire for the insurance money but blocked the main way out causing my great-grandparents to make a jump from their house to the house next door. It always makes me pause to consider how many different times our family could have ceased to exist. I’m glad all my grandparents were so tough.

Those great stories weren’t the only treasures we got to leave with. Oh, no! My grandfather’s tenant recently passed away and apparently he was a hoarder. While his family did take care of most of what he left behind, my grandfather held on to a good chunk of the guy’s cigar box collection. The boxes are not really worth much, but for some of us, it was like Christmas come early to get to poke around and find the most unusual or useful of the many varieties. I, personally (and R, too) love wooden boxes and I if I hadn’t shown some restraint would have come home with several more than I did. Here are the ones K and I chose to bring home and eventually put to use:

I loved the shape of the inside of the box in the upper left of the picture:

It is rounded on the outside to accommodate rounder, more natural cigars.

This next one I was so excited to find among the boxes my mom had. It’s going to be my new art supply box for when I start my drawing class next week.

I love that it has all the different compartments. I don’t particularly care that the box isn’t in mint condition because it will be so useful to me. All my different pencils and erasers and sharpeners will fit beautifully in here.

I suspect I’ll be using at least one box to hold letters from K should he decide to send any while he’s away. And I might keep one for the various little things the kids make for me. I love to put things away to find later and reminisce over and these cigar boxes are perfect.

K and I have had a very mellow weekend without the kids. We slept in, started (and almost finished) watching Generation Kill, food shopped, sat in front of the fire, I went for tea with B again, K and I went to dinner, and we just generally took advantage of the quiet. I should have enough peace stored up to last me at least the drive back after picking up the kids. I’m glad one holiday is down and just one more to go. I’ve got lots of organizing to do for Christmas and even more freelance work to do before the end of the year. Fitting it all in should be quite the juggling act. We’ve got one more short time with K being gone, and then we all need to get into longer-term mind-sets of separate lives after the new year. It’s a lot to contemplate, so I’m thankful we’ve had this little quiet before the storm.

 

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The more things change…

Welcome to part 1b of our deployment. Since K. is still in the country I’m considering this time as more pre-deployment than not. K.’s communication will be limited over the next few weeks, but that’s not unusual for when he’s at his Annual Training. Better to get used to that now too so when he does go overseas we are not used to talking frequently. As of this morning the kids and I are on our own for the majority of the next year and a little. This phase is only a few weeks and then K. will be home for a few days around Thanksgiving. Three weeks is pretty easy for us and I’m taking it in that smaller sized chunk rather than looking at the whole. The kids are used to 3 week stints without Daddy, and like I said, we have our routine and it’s easy to manage. We explained to R. that K. was still going to be safe in this country for a while and that seemed to ease her mind and her potential for drama. Monkey has an Elmo video given to us by Easter Seals to help explain to him what’s going on. I think he sort of gets it, but I can’t be sure. He retains a whole lot of video, and I can’t tell if he’s really making the connection or just humoring me. Not that he won’t miss K., but he spends the bulk of his time with me, so I’m not sure how long it will take for K.’s absence to effect him. I guess we’ll find out.

Last night was as mundane as it usually was. We had dinner, finished R.’s costume, and then the kids were off to bed. We hung out watching tv like always and then we went to bed. Same shit, different day. Honestly, it was fine by me. I’d rather we keep things normal this time around rather than get caught up in the kind of emotional frenzy of last time. This morning, K. was up early and out the door with very little fanfare. I was groggy and uncomfortable from a bursitis-ridden shoulder and the kids were out cold for the most part, although R. was nice enough to crack open an eye and tell her Daddy she loved him. Monkey whined in disapproval for being disturbed which was at least typical. I felt kind of bad about not getting up with K., but I knew I’d talk to him later during the day for one last time.

So what did I do on this first day on my own? I sucked up the shoulder pain and cleaned the house and did the laundry. It’s “Chore Day” after all. Exciting as ever. Besides, I’ll be damned if I’m going to begin this journey with a hairy house and dirty laundry. It’s easier to keep up the house on my own when I start with it clean. And so it is. I had other things I needed to do today, but I’ll get to them tomorrow. Between me and R. after she got home, we got the majority of the house all cleaned up to include her room which is usually in a state of chaos. Once we were done, it was chocolate chip pancakes for dinner and then we settled in for a movie. R., who has been hording homework passes, decided that today was a good day to use one and I agreed. A little togetherness was what she needed and I was grateful for a quiet night with her and her not quiet enough brother to start all this. They went to bed easily and I had some down time to watch a little tv and decompress. And now I’m in my bedroom—my favorite room—snuggled up with Zoe who beat me to bed. It’s a good end to a not-so-craptactular day, all things considered. I feel pretty good—hopeful that I can keep things normal if today is any indication, and ready to make headway with some of my own goals. While I’m sorry that K. had to leave, I’m relieved that this deployment has finally started.

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Happiest place in my universe.

This weekend K. and I were lucky enough to be able to get away one last time before he takes off. My parents took pity on us and came up to hang out with all the kiddos (both furry and not furry) as well as celebrate Monkey’s birthday a little early so we could escape. It could not have come at a better time. I think we were both burned out and over-tired. K. was overwhelmed with the myriad of last minute things going on at work and I was becoming frustrated with all the little (and seemingly obvious) things I kept forgetting needed to be done. For instance, I had realized that I didn’t have a local emergency contact if something happens to me and that the budget I had put together was pretty much wrong. Every time I turn around these days I find another project that needs to get done before Winter and K. can’t get through half a day at home without getting a handful of calls from work. It’s busy.

To say that we couldn’t wait to get the hell out of Dodge was an understatement. I ran errands for the entire morning making sure the kids, dogs, and my parents had everything they needed for the weekend. Food shopping was completed, prescriptions filled. I had packed more things than I could have ever needed for a 36-hour period–which is typical for me–but I like to be prepared for any eventuality. Packed my art bag, my laptop, purse (if you want to call my travel shoulder bag that), and a backpack with more comfy clothes than going out clothes. I was ready.

We were off to the coast to stay at the house of a wonderful, and very generous cousin of mine. We’ve stayed there many times over the years and it has become one of my favorite destinations on the planet. The location exudes tranquility, and pretty much every window in the house has an ocean view to help facilitate that serene vibe. The room we usually sleep in is close enough to the water that the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks puts us under in no time and keeps us slumbering nicely all through the night until the sun peeps over the horizon and into the room waking us gradually. It’s the way sleep should be and I can never get enough of it. This house is where I go when I need to locate my inner peace, and sometimes when I can’t get there, all I have to do is think about sitting in the living room with its many large windows looking out to that seemingly endless ocean and vast sky and I feel a calmness settle over me. I can’t help but be happy there.

Here’s why:

The rocky shore near our bedroom.

The gray horizon on this overcast day.

Even K. loves to stare at the loveliness of the ocean.

This weekend it poured for most of Saturday and was overcast today, and I didn’t care at all. Honestly, I was happy for it. I just wanted the chance to enjoy the quiet and collect my head. We didn’t talk too much–but after as long as we’ve been together, we don’t always need to. It certainly wasn’t a tense silence so much as it was just being. This is our second deployment, so we’ve had the big, important “If this happens…” conversations before. I was grateful for a less than deep weekend. We hung out and read and played computer games and I did some writing. We vegged mostly and I was happy to marinade.

We did go out in public a little before we settled into a whole lot of not much. We had breakfast at my absolute favorite restaurant/diner ever. I always say that if I ever know I’m going to have to have a last meal, I want it to come from this place. And this year, they moved to a building at the bottom of my cousin’s street, so it was even that much easier to get to–not that it would have mattered if it were behind barbed wire, fire swamps or R.O.U.S’s. The food is fantastic, and the ambiance is cozy yet retro 50′s cottage. The waitstaff is pleasant without being corny and the kitchen efficient and creative. Some times I wish I were more creative with my meal choices, but why fix something that isn’t broke? I tend to stick with the french toasted breads and K. goes for any and all (depending on how often we get there) eggs benedict variations. If they were open at night, I’d eat every meal there and try everything on the menu. Of course I’d way a ton and never be able to leave so they’d have to feed me anyway…

We also made stops downtown to the local toy store, bakery, and chocolatier. The toy store is about as wide as a two people standing next to each other with their arms open and there are toys floor to ceiling. They run the gambit from toys you can get anywhere, to some really awesome and quirky Japanese imports. I could spend hours poking around in there and spend hundreds, but I restrain myself so that I can spend some money at the chocolatier. They make most of the chocolates and truffles and fudge right there on the premises and I don’t think I’ve ever left empty-handed. Everything there is high-quality and melt-in-your-mouth-stick-to-your-thighs delicious. I would apprentice both my kids there if I thought it would get me unlimited free chocolate for the rest of my days (which would be incredibly short given how much I’d eat…). Then it’s off to our Second Breakfast supplier for coffee and chai to go with our chocolate oaties and cherry squares. There are really not enough snack times in the day to make a dent in their amazing offerings, but we try the best we can.

There is something to be said for eating and sleeping your cares away. We did eventually go home and while I was glad to get nearly knocked down by enthusiastic children and dogs alike, I was feeling even better about recharging my inner peace battery.

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