Looks like I have some catching up to do. I wasn’t expecting to have “one of those” weeks right off the bat, but there it was. It was as if instead of the planets and/or stars aligning, black holes and antimatter fell into place. Of course, that’s a little melodramatic, but there was definitely a convergence of craptastical stuff going on. Between sick kids, trying to remain germ free myself, hormones, excessive amounts of Halloween candy, and working out the mechanics of single parenting again, I pretty much just checked out.
About all I was good for this week was wiping noses, pouring juice, doling out medicine, snuggling, reading, eating cake & candy, and staying up too late. I just couldn’t seem to think or be proactive no matter how much I wanted to. You’d think I’d be happy to do not much, but I wasn’t. It’s not me. The kids were quiet for a change and didn’t need me constantly, but they needed me often enough, plus I was checking on their symptoms regularly, so I just couldn’t accomplish anything that was going to take longer than 10 minutes. I can’t tell you how many times I even started to write, but I just couldn’t throw together a coherent sentence. Weeks like this are mentally exhausting for me because I spend so much time having inner arguments about getting up off my butt and doing something instead of cutting myself slack and recognizing that these lapses don’t ever really last long. While it goes on though, I feel like I’m slogging through a foggy swamp.
On the upside, the house managed to stay neat (not clean–I do have two dogs after all), the laundry did get done if not folded and put away, and no one died. I’m calling this week a win regardless of all the things I didn’t do. Like leave the house for 5 days. I guess you can throw cabin fever into the mix up there too. Heard from K. who is enjoying his training oddly enough, had a visit from a friend bearing beef which is always a bonus, heard from a colleague from my days in publishing which was awesome, I read some great short stories written by friends of mine, plus, I started watching Generation Kill via Netflix and it’s fantastic.
Once I had kids, I suddenly had a hard time watching war movies which, normally, I really enjoy. Part of the reason K. and I got together in the first place is my love of military history. I think now that the kids are older and I nurture somewhat differently and not constantly, I’m not as wigged out by the idea of death and destruction. So back to war movies I go. Generation Kill is about a Marine Recon unit during the first days of the Iraq invasion. I don’t know that I could have watched this while K. was over there last deployment (not that it was out at the time anyway…), but it’s not a problem now. Even though K. is not in the Marines, there is enough similarity that some things about it just felt familiar to me. The griping soldiers I don’t think are much different across branches of the military. The humor among the men wasn’t unfamiliar either. When you live among soldiers long enough, you hear their stories a million times and you start to understand pretty quickly how they think and what they bond over. And now that there aren’t any soldiers in my house, watching Generation Kill felt oddly comforting, I guess. The miniseries is based on a book of the same name by Rolling Stone reporter, Evan Wright and I may just go pick it up at the library later. The type of writing he did at the time—magazine feature writing—is what I’ve gone to college and grad school for and what I have wanted to do since I knew writing was my calling. Seeing the process in action is always a neat thing to me and what also attracted me to the tv show.
As if quality tv weren’t enough, I was also treated to Monkey going back to school yesterday which allowed me to get out of the house for a couple hours to do some food shopping as well as sing loudly in the car. Blissfully by myself. Today we clean the house and head over to the library for a bit and maybe the park to air out. Things are finally back to a version of normal I prefer.